My Neurotic Dog

I am sure it is my fault that the dog is so messed up. I regret leaving my bronchitis inhaler where he could find it and eat it when he was just a young pup. The method I chose for house training him probably didn't help matters much either. Yelling at the top of my lungs, running at full speed to grab him and put him outside, and not letting him back inside for long durations probably caused some trauma in his early life. It was a very long time before he could see me and be able to complete a bowel movement - even if he was outside where such things were okay. I am also sorry that there were times in his formative years that I did not keep regular hours and he did not see me for long periods of time. I made sure he was fed and had access to fresh water, but I still think it scarred him a little. For instance, he will not eat his food unless I am home. He will go all day with a full bowl of food and even though he acts like he is starving when I get home, he will not touch the food until I am there. I believe this stems from his fear of abandonment.  I think he wants to make sure that there will be someone to provide him with another meal before he will eat the one he has. About abandonment issues, the dog must be near enough to touch me, if not touching me if we are in the same room. It is not good enough if I rest my foot lightly on him. He has to be the one with his paw over my foot or if he is sitting up, his full weight leaning on my leg. If he feels it is time to be petted, he will stick his nose under my hand and push up so he can be petted. It's nice that he is so self sufficient, but his nose is often cold and moist which can be unpleasant. He is independent when he wants to be. If we are outside and it is time to come in, he will make sure that it is not because I call him inside.  He asserts his independence by waiting approximately 60 seconds after I have given up trying to call him inside and have closed the door before he will scratch at the door and whine the most annoying whine he can manage. Yes, I let him in when he does this. When I open the door, he strolls in as if nothing's happened. I refrain from kicking him because I don't kick living things. He is lucky. There are a myriad of other neurotic behaviors he exhibits, but I am sure you have heard enough for today and I didn't even mention his demon eyes or his murderous hatred of cats and Frisbees.