Quitting Again

I am currently a smoker. I have been a smoker off and on again for many years. I believe I started sneaking cigarettes when I was about 14. I quit for a while when I was in the Navy and I quit for about a year and a half from age 25 through to almost 27. I wish I had never started smoking again after that, but I did. I eased myself back into being a smoker with cigars which led to black and milds which led to menthol cigarettes for some inexplicable reason. I had never enjoyed menthol cigarettes previously. If there is one thing above all others that I truly regret, it is that I ever started smoking again.

Since I started back on the evil evil things, I have been afraid to try to stop again. The few times I have tried I have given up quickly. I tried to quit with the patch when I was an intern teacher. That was a recipe for disaster. I would go all day without smoking which destroyed any clear thinking or concentration of which I was otherwise capable. The patches could not deliver enough nicotine to my system, or maybe my brain is wired to believe that if it doesn't come in the form of smoke, it isn't real nicotine. I don't know. I do know that I was so out of it by the time school was over each day that I had tunnel vision and could not function until I could smoke.

I made a serious effort to try to quit again in 2006. I thought I would be smart this time and go back to the doctor, tell my story, and see what she could do for me. Chantix nearly killed me. I will not go into details, but if you are trying to quit smoking, I do not recommend Chantix. I followed the instructions. My cravings for cigarettes never went away, and my world became a dark sad place - darker and sadder then I had ever known. It is not an experience I wish to go through ever again. If Chantix were the only way a person could lose the nasty habit of smoking, then I am going to be smoker until it kills me.

But Chantix is not the only way and I am not going to remain a smoker until it kills me. I am going to take back the part of my life smoking controls. I am tired of the feeling of needing a cigarette. I am tired of rushing through things so I can take a break and smoke a cigarette. I am tired of the stink cigarette smoke leaves on everything. I am tired of spending good money after bad money on things that are harming my health. It is time to quit for the last time.

I know I need help to quit smoking. The cravings I have for cigarettes are too intense to do this cold turkey without serious risks to innocent bystanders. My previous most successful respite from smoking came from the use of a product called Zyban. I learned later that it is actually an antidepressant called buproprion. Whatever it is, it worked like a charm. I followed the instructions and I no longer had unbearable cravings for a cigarette. The withdrawal symptoms were mild. I mostly remember being a little distracted and nervous for a couple of weeks. This past Wednesday I went to the doctor for an unrelated reason. While I was there I asked about using Zyban to stop smoking again. I was able to purchase a 30 day supply for less than $15. I have set a quit date two weeks from the day I started taking the medication. This will allow enough time for the buproprion to build up in my system. As of April 7^th 2010, I will be a former smoker.